This morning I received a message. It started with the profound, “Still Clean!! 496 Days!!! 3.6 last semester!! Only you would have thought at first. Now I do also!! What color is your pinky nail today?” It went on:

….I remember you saying that facing death from cancer placed
you closest to facing life and that never forgetting you could
have died is the best way to intensely live life, and that I should
never blot out when I…… Like your cancer, all that past shit now
reminds me of my blessings, to list all the good things in my life,
to see the real value within me, to focus on the potential I have
within me, to focus on my purpose in life, and to put me at peace
with……I still like that because each day I was think about how if
I want to become a stronger, more self-confident person, I can
become that person. I am slowly being confident and believing in
myself. I am slowly seeing that I can achieve a lot more than I’ve
ever tried to. One clean day leads me to another and another and
another. Each day I get a tingle of excitement when I think of
fulfilling my unexplored possibilities that I once never dreamed
could exist. Those feelings tell me who I actually am and of the
value within me which is important if I am to believe in what I can
do. I cherish them and now work hard to bring them to the surface
and give them life so they can give me a better life. Like you told
me, a small step on a great journey to find that magnificent
treasure within me is not small at all. I really liked what you once
said to me. Each day I am clean I believe in myself more. I do not
think all those negative things that people have said about me and
have done to me, and what I had believed for so long about me. I
realize my value and self worth does not come from….but from who
I am. I am so happy to not have felt that awful feeling….It was a
feeling of shame, sadness, and anger. Now each day I am clean I
gain confidence in myself and am happier. I don’t let those voices
stop me. I don’t let others stop me. I don’t let me stop me. I have
found that my most beautiful and fulfilling moments are the ones
that are the sincere and authentic ones. That is, when I’m being
my true self is, when I’m at my best. So many people so quickly
latch on to someone else’s idea of who they should be and what
is success, while at the same time ignoring their own authentic
dreams. So many people so easily ignore the words in their gut
and dismiss their own instincts and intuitions. That’s what I was
doing. I remember all those times you told me that each day I
was clean I was being myself and no longer what others wanted
or expected me to be. You kept telling me to pay attention to
that little voice inside of me. I listen to it now each day. That
voice, as I see, tells me what I can accomplish, what brings me
joy, and create real richness in my life.

I have taped to my mirror a copy of note you sent me in reply to
when I was desperately in need of faith in me. I doubt you
remember it. I’m sure you don’t remember it. Here it is: ‘Could it be
that there is a vast storehouse of value within you that is waiting
to be unlocked, and that each day you’re clean you catch a
glimpse of it and those brief encounters truly amaze you? Remember
your future is not a place; it’s something you create. Whatever path
you choose to walk, remember it’s the one you’ve cut. It’s not the
one you’ve discovered. Make your future, cut your path, and you’ll
change who you are and the course you’re following. If you can follow
your inner voice, you’ll slowly stop listening to the dark, denigrating
voices; you’ll let go of all the superficial distractions and petty pursuits
under which have locked up that richness. When you no longer let
things tear you down and enslave you, when you see the angel rather
than the demon inside, you’ll find sacredness in yourself and purpose
and meaning in your life. When you distance yourself from your
sadness, you’ll come closer to the true joy that is your birthright.
When you no longer pin your hopes on shallow, fleeting, physical
sensations, you’ll uncover your beautiful inner spirit that can bring your
life true joy. As you do all that, you start becoming the person you are
capable of becoming.’ Each day I read those words as I brush my teeth
and put on my makeup. Thanks to you—I know, really to me–each day
I’m clean I’m living with fulfillment and purpose. Each day I’m clean I no
longer am running and hiding from the real joy that I now know can be
mine. Each day I’m clean I’m authentically living the life of that sacred
someone I am. Each day I’m clean I see that angel in front of me telling
everyone to make way for someone created in the image of God. Each
day I’m clean I’m coming closer to the real me. Each day I’m clean I’m
letting go of all those angers, distractions, fears, frustrations and
annoyances that come from chasing the approval of others I so
desperately wanted, that so desperately owned me, that so desperately
disrespected me, that so limited my belief in myself and what I am
capable of becoming. Each day I’m clean, I’ve opened a little wider that
inner vault I wanted to believe was always inside me but until I met you
and heard the story of your painted pinky never dared to see if it was
true. I’ve found real gold inside me and I’ll be damn if I’m ever going to
settle any more for fool’s gold. Just want to say thanks and to let you
know that you’re teaching me and I’m learning long after our class is over….

I’m not going to go into any details about this person who was in class with me sometime in the near past.

 This message, along with a conversation I had with my good friend, Don Fraser, is the answer to a question thrown at me by a student who wants to be a teacher. He asked me what it is about teaching that turns me on. It’s the students. When I’m around with those young people, I grab energy from them by the fistful. The steam rises. I love it. I love working with the young. I love helping them help themselves start becoming what they are capable of becoming. I love getting up each morning asking myself how I can make a difference. It’s making a difference in someone’s life and altering the future! I’ll tell him that a true education is not getting a grade or a diploma. It’s not found in a GPA or a recognition. If that was the case, then the least of learning takes place in the classroom. We each are what we dwell on. So many students are the attitudes and thoughts that stand in the way of seeing clearly that which they truly are and capable of becoming. So many students are overcome by halting “I ams,” and barricading “buts” and paralyzing “can’ts.” They’ve lost their self-empowerment. They’ve lost the essential peace that is within each of them. That’s important to understand and focus on. While most talents are a gift, the character to develop and use those talents is not written in our DNA code. We have to build it piece by piece by thought, choice, courage, determination, perseverance, commitment, belief, faith, confidence, hope, and love.

 I’ll tell him that making a difference means paying attention to the possibilities. It means evoking a generosity of conscience expended to helping each student change her or his focus. It means helping each student make clear much of what is presently out of focus. So many times, in so many journal entries written by the students, in so many conversation with them, I see that students are not aware of their talents and abilities, confuse getting grades with learning, and don’t wonder what they have to do to cut through the veil that obscures their great potential? To me, then, making a difference means helping someone lose and find her/himself at the same time, of helping her or him find a new way of looking at her/himself, at others, and at things.”

 I’ll tell him that I see teaching and learning as a journey to self-discovery for myself and others. It’s vital to see that, for to know yourself, understand your own heart and mind, seeing how the threads of that understanding and knowledge weave through all aspects of life is a knowledge of will, the clear intention to be, a recognition that you have the gift of life, you’re a caretaker of that life, and to actualize your life purpose. It’s a vehicle to push myself and each student to achieve our own unique potential. It’s not just a way to make a living. It’s a way to make a life.

 I’ll tell him that for me, what it takes to be a teacher is a way of life. It’s a way to answer the larger, more important, questions of life. It’s a means to make meaningful connections. Above all, teaching is not only for or about me. Its essence rests in an otherness. It is about doing it for other people.

 I’ll tell him that, I found soon after my epiphany in 1991 that as I began a shift from striving to be important to doing significant things, as I slowly placed myself in the shadows, I began to see the sunlight in others, especially in each student. So, I’ve come to look at teaching from a broad view with a vision of service. Professionally, my life’s work is in helping each student help her/himself become the person she or he is capable of becoming.

 I’ll let him in on a little secret. None of this “turn on” is a goal. I don’t focus on influencing or being significant or even on making a different. I don’t have a map. I find that maps and fixed goals trespass on my freedom to be innovative, flexible, adaptive, and creative. I just pay attention, intense attention, to what and who are around me. That is, I don’t so worry about where I’m going that I lose track of where I am; I don’t look at tomorrow or yesterday that I forget to live today; I don’t so intently focus on a destination that I don’t enjoy the ride. I do have a compass; I have aspirations that breathe life into me and make me pant with desire. I never really feel lost with taking a wrong turn or having failed because every wrong turn or mistake is an opportunity for a “let’s see where this leads to” learning and experiencing of new things, and therefore for growing. I listen for opportunities that are always knocking, but usually softly. I am intensely aware. I don’t covet or regret–usually. I appreciate who I am, and more importantly who I am capable of becoming. I’m adventurous–always. I treat myself like the one-time journey I am, and revel in new experiences and meeting new people. I’m a people person, always reaching out to constantly seek, build and nurture relationships with new people. I don’t worry how things will turn out because I have learned that one way to have the will power to take this journey is to acquire the want power to take this journey. I will get there because I want to get there, and since I want to get there, I’ll do whatever it takes to get there. I know I will, for I’ve learned that it’s only the happy, loving, faithful, believing, and hopeful heart that generously gives away and receives the best.

 Want to make a difference? Then remember this: a life dedicated to a great purpose becomes great.

Make it a good day.

      –Louis–