“CARING LIVED”
Well, the semester is coming to a close. November is just beginning and it’s almost gone. The flow of my November is always disrupted by five “high” days at the Lilly conference on teaching at Miami University and the equally long Turkey Day break. Then, the students return in the daze induced by a caloric overdose with only a week before classes come to an end. So, up to now, by my count, I’ve read about 2400 daily journal entries over the past 12 weeks for each of my four classes. Among those almost 10,000 entries, aside from constant revelations of the humanity of each student, one thing jumps out. I’ll frame it in the form of a few questions. Why is it that almost all students are surprised that a professor cares about them as persons? Why are they stunned when a professor notices them? Why are they floored when a professor respects them? Why don’t so many of us fathom the almost immeasurable impact of caring? And, what does that say about far too many of us academics?
I know most of us do care about students. But, that’s not enough, for while we are all proclaiming “I care about students” with our lips, are we careful to be caring in our hearts? And if we are, why are far too many of us displaying a limited caring that waits for a few of them to come to us and isn’t reaching out to all of them? Why is the caring of so many of us selective or highly conditional? Why would we hear if we listened closely to both ourselves and others the culling out phrases “they have to deserve my…;” or, “they have to earn my…;” or, “they have to work for my…;” or, “they have to show me that….;” “if….”
As we are in our brain, so we are in our thoughts and attitudes; as we are in our hearts, so we are at our core; as we are in our souls, so we are in the soles of our feet. So, do we live those words of care? The true answer is not found in whether we care, but rests in whether the students feel cared about.
That matters. In the people business of education, what matters most is the attitude of the teacher. Trust me; there is nothing more magical than that. There is nothing more powerful than feeling you’re cared about, then feeling you’re noticed, then feeling you’re being valued, them feeling you’re wanting; then feeling lovingly embraced; then being made to feel that you’re important. There is no teaching method more influential than what I call “caring lived.” If I am right, the positive impact that acts of caring have on students should and must provoke us to reflect upon what is it that we can do to reinforce this impact in order to feel it, smell it, taste it, live it, and keep it alive and well each and every day. We have to acquire and live an intense awareness and a deep otherness that will not allow us to let opportunities, large and small, pass by in which we can help others feel welcomed, special, cared about, noticed, valued, and appreciated. Don’t underestimate the power of caring, for time and time again I see seemingly small gestures of caring leaving indelible memories and having lifelong impacts.
But, from my experience there is another side, a by-product, to “caring lived.” Our own self-worth, dignity, faith, hope, significance, meaning is cultivated as we live caring. The more we live caring, the more courageous we become to reach out; the greater our daring, the less we’re inclined to be discouraged by an overwhelming sense of hopelessness; and the less we’re inclined to be discouraged, the more resilient we are. “Caring lived” is a fuel for the fires of our inner strength that in itself drives our faith, commitment, determination, perseverance, endurance. At the end of the road, and it is a high road, “caring lived” nurtures emotional security that creates a greater chance of touching both yourself and someone, and both changing the world and altering the future. And, when you do touch someone, when you change the world and alter the future, I assure you, there is no greater “high,” no greater exhilaration, no greater joy, no greater feeling of accomplishment, no greater sense of significance, no greater addition of value and meaning to what you do.
Ah, wouldn’t it be lovely if unconditional “caring lived,” rather than merely “caring spoken,” was so commonplace, so integral to what we feel and think and do, that it would no longer be a surprise to any student.
Louis
