STILL ANOTHER QUICKIE ON “I CARE ABOUT STUDENTS”

Got an e-mail this morning. All it said was “Clean.” That’s all it had to say. I’ve been getting an identical message each day for the past week.

It began last Monday morning. The word I had selected for the day happened to be “edify.” I am at the checkout desk in the library. Behind me comes Debby (not her real name) with a “hi Schmier.” I turn.. She hugs me. I return her hug. We chat. Then, I consciously and intentionally ask her, “Clean?”

That word casts a sudden shadow over her face as if a cloud had suddenly blocked out the sunlight. Her smile suddenly disappears. Her head drops like a millstone had been suddenly draped around her neck. Her eyes go to the floor. Her voice lowers to a whisper. She sadly answers, “No.”

“Well, what are you going to do about it?” I ask softly but firmly. “You’re better than that.”

“I know.”

“Don’t give yourself that excusing get-out-of-my-face ‘I know’ stuff. What are you going to do about it? Honestly.

“Start again?”

“Is that a question or a promise?”

“Are you disappointed in me?”

“Are you disappointed in you?”

She nodded her head, “Yes.”

“Well, that’s the person you have to stop letting down. Look in the mirror and talk to her about starting again. Is your ‘Start again’ a question or a promise.”

“A promise.”

“To whom?”

“Me.”

“I know you can do it. You’ve done it. Now you just have to know it again.”

We hugged. I noticed her hug was a tad tighter than a few minute earlier. A “Maybe” silently flashed inside of me. That night, I unexpectedly received an e-mail from her. I’ll just say, it told me the power of a one, sincere, caring word. It was from Debby:

I was so happy I finally saw you! It has been so long. You kind of took me off guard when you asked me if I was clean, but I’m glad you did ask….I know I can’t get someone to like me by doing something that I really don’t like doing and I don’t like myself for doing. It’s already effecting my studies. I don’t know why I do it. No, that’s a lie. I do know. I just don’t trust that anyone would like me for who I am. You’re the only one so far who believes in me….Well, damn, and it’s a good damn, if you won’t stop caring I guess I have to start caring for me all over again. This is Day One of me caring about myself again and being clean. I won’t try. I’ll do it. If it’s okay with you, you’ll hear from me everyday.

Isn’t it amazing how one word of caring almost instantly shored up a student’s flagging confidence and inspired her to renew her struggle the climb to her summit and regain the heights from which she had tumbled. As I read Debby’s words, I felt a rush of being intensely alive. Some get that feeling from climbing mountains or racing cars or bungee jumping or sky diving or doing other daredevil things. I get it from that feeling of satisfaction and fulfillment of having made a difference by treating someone as a human being and noticing it while it’s happening.

I just told someone that the highest reward for caring for a student as a human being is what you become by it. It’s never a waste a time, whatever the result, caring makes you a more caring, happier, and better person yourself. Each morning, I hear a voice asking me, “Will you live a life of meaning today?” To answer that question, I pick a “renewal and resilience” word for the day and consciously start out with the intention of treating someone as a human being, of making someone feel noticed, cared about, special, and appreciated. Doing that doesn’t really change people and things for me, but it does change me for things and people. At the end of the day, as I’m walking home to have that quiet glass of wine with Susan during our daily “special time,” I take inventory of myself. I always ask myself as I often ask others in workshops and conference presentations, “Hey, Schmier, did you lead your life today in a way that helped others feel special and appreciated? Have you allowed a moment to go by in which you could have said something to a student or colleague or staff person that would have meant so much to them? What is one thing you said or did today that made another person felt more special and appreciated?” Last Monday I delivered as I didn’t expect.

And, what a difference that makes!

Louis

This entry was posted in Random Thoughts by Louis Schmier. Bookmark the permalink.

About Louis Schmier

LOUIS SCHMIER “Every student should have a person who wants to help him or her help himself or herself become the person he or she is capable of becoming, and I’ll be damned if I am ever going to let one human being fall through the cracks in my classes without a fight.” How about a snapshot of myself. But, what shall I tell you about me? Something personal? Something philosophical? Something pedagogical? Something scholarly? Nah, I'll dispense with that resume stuff. Since I believe everything we do starts from who we are inside, what we believe, what we perceive, and what we do is an extension of ourselves, how about if I first say some things about myself. Then, maybe, I can ease into other things. My name is Louis Schmier. The first name rhymes with phooey, the last with beer. I am a 76 year old - in body, but not in mind or spirit - born and bred New Yorker who came south in 1963. I met by angelic bride, Susie, on a reluctant blind date at Chapel Hill. We've been married now going on 51 years. We have two marvelous sons. One is a VP at Samsung in San Francisco. The other is an artist with food and is an executive chef at a restaurant in Nashville, Tn. And, they have given us three grandmunchkins upon whom we dote a bit. I power walk 7 miles every other early morning. That’s my essential meditative “Just to …” time. On the other days, I exercise with weights to keep my upper body in shape. I am an avid gardener. I love to cook on my wok. Loving to work with my hands as well as with my heart and mind, I built a three room master complex addition to the house. And, I am a “fixer-upper” who allows very few repairmen to step across the threshold. Oh, by the way, I received my A.B. from then Adelphi College, my M.A. from St. John's University, and my Ph.D. from the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. I have been teaching at Valdosta State University in Georgia since 1967. Having retired reluctantly in December, 2012, I currently hold the rank of Professor of History, Emeritus. I prefer the title, “Teacher”. Twenty-five years ago, I had what I consider an “epiphany”. It changed my understanding of myself. I stopped professoring and gave up scholarly research and publication to devote all my time and energy to student. My teaching has taken on the character of a mission. It is a journey that has taken me from seeing only myself to a commitment to vision larger than myself and my self-interest. I now believe that being an educator means I am in the “people business”. I now believe that the most essential element in education is caring about people. Education without caring, without a real human connection, is as viable as a person with a brain but without a heart. So, when I am asked what I teach, I answer unhesitatingly, “I teach students”. I am now more concerned with the students’ learning than my teaching, more concerned with the students as human beings than with the subject. I am more concerned with reaching for students than reaching the height of professional reputation. I believe the heart of education is to educate the heart. The purpose of teaching is to instill in all students genuine, loving, lifelong eagerness to learn and foster a life of continual growth and development. It should encourage and assist students in developing the basic values needed for learning and living: self-discipline, self-confidence, self-worth, integrity, honesty, commitment, perseverance, responsibility, pursuit of excellence, emotional courage, creativity, imagination, humility, and compassion for others. In April, 1993, I began to share ME on the internet: my personal and professional rites of passage, my beliefs about the nature and purpose of an education, a commemoration of student learning and achievement, my successful and not so successful experiences, a proclamation of faith in students, and a celebration of teaching. These electronic sharings are called “Random Thoughts”. There are now over 1000 of them floating out there in cyberspace. The first 185, which chronicles the beginnings of my journey, have been published as collections in three volumes, RANDOM THOUGHTS: THE HUMANITY OF TEACHING, RANDOM THOUGHTS, II: TEACHING FROM THE HEART, RANDOM THOUGHTS, III: TEACHING WITH LOVE, and RANDOM THOUGHTS, IV: THE PASSION OF TEACHING. The chronicle of my continued journey is available in an Ebook on Amazon's Kindle in a volume I call FAITH, HOPE, LOVE: THE SPIRIT OF TEACHING. There a few more untitled volumes in the works..

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *